


Of Breakfast and Glitter

by Shay_Moonsilk



Series: High School Modern AU [2]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Cuddling and Snuggling, Deterring Lobelia is an actual sport, Gen, M/M, Nori's a stripper, but Dwalin wears tight pants so Nori's chill with it, but they don't use it for art so it's all good, camping under the stars, glitter is used here, it's the herpes of art supplies, not really - Freeform, unlike football
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-04-10 05:38:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4379339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shay_Moonsilk/pseuds/Shay_Moonsilk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You are covered in glitter! What are you doing? Hanging out with strippers?" Dori asked.</p><p>"I am a stripper" Nori smirked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Breakfast and Glitter

**Author's Note:**

> Another art-based fic (I can't stop send help) by sarcasticasides http://sarcasticasides.tumblr.com/post/116338104101/thats-it-thats-all-i-needed-these-designs-for 
> 
> Hope ya'll enjoy.

Deterring Lobelia Sackville-Baggins would forever be Nori’s favorite sport. It was the stuff of legends, and to him it practicing it should get him out of Gym. Because it took mental strategy and physical exertion (one time he’d thrown a water balloon so it _counted_ ) especially if _Dwalin_ got excused from Gym for doing “organized team sports.” All he _did_ was run around tackling people in tight pants. Actually, he could keep the tight pants. They were a gift from above. (And from what Nori could tell after watching his games for the better part of three months, the tight pants were the main point of the game anyway.)

But anyway, deterring Lobelia.

Bilbo had asked Bofur and him for their help, and of course they’d be there for their tiny friend. But getting her to leave him and his mother alone took strategy and finesse. Lobelia did not leave easily, else Bilbo could’ve handled her on his own. No, usually whenever she approached, Bilbo would call Bofur, and then the two would “happen to stop by” (this was good for rattling her, because she hated being interrupted) and then they tended to improvise from there. More often then not, Nori channeled his inner Dori (because Dori’s backhanded compliments were perfection from above, like: “Oh it’s good that you don’t look so hungry anymore!”, or "You look so hungry, how are you supposed to attract a partner like that?", and even, “It’s so nice that you have so much time to spend with family, no time for a special partner hm?” But he could _never know Nori used them_.)

-

It wasn’t in Bofur’s nature to be mean-spirited, or anything less than happy and cheerful, but the moment someone was mean to his family, friends, or Bilbo then all bets were off.

With a successful slam of the door behind her, the three friends cheered after a successful round of “make Lobelia go away.”

In thanks, Belladonna gave them a beautiful smile, and put out cookies and lemonade before turning in early. Out of respect to being in her house, they tried to keep the celebration noise level down and went into the backyard (where Bilbo took care of his garden that was so beautiful it made the blue planet in Avatar look pathetic). Which was where Bofur unexpectedly dumped a whole container of _glitter_ on Nori’s head ( _where did it come from how did he have glitter was he five_?) and Nori obviously had to answer with _vengeance_.

Bilbo contented himself with doubling over in laughter until tears rolled down his eyes while yelling for them to keep away from his tomatoes he was entering those in a _contest_ you uncivilized _trolls_.

It continued well into the night, where the three just decided to sleep out in the yard (it was too late for Nori or Bofur to go home anyway and it was just really nice out). Bilbo came out with an assortment of sleeping bags, pillows and blankets for them and Bofur laid his down right next to Bilbo and wrapped an arm around him. Nori was then morally obligated to play over-bearing third wheel by laying down on Bilbo’s other side and aggressively cuddle him. Bilbo giggled until he fell asleep.

-

Nori always felt like a hipster whenever he attempted to make Dwalin’s jacket actually fit on him, as opposed to slipped off one shoulder or having the sleeves hang off his hands. But it was fun to fidget with it - a subtle reminder that he actually had a dwalin-jacket to fidget with, so he settled himself for rolling up the sleeves and and adjusting it as Bifur dropped him off before taking Bofur back to their house. It was also starting to lose its Dwalin-smell, which was unacceptable. He’d have to temporarily give it back to him again. As the car stopped, he thanked Bifur for the ride and hopped out, walking up to the house he, Dori, and Ori lived in with their mom. 

He’d hoped to enter his house unnoticed, but that was pathetic wishful thinking on his part when he lived with Dori. Nori didn’t make it more than two steps in the house before brother dearest was on him.

“You are covered in glitter! What are you doing? Hanging out with strippers?” Dori asked. The tone was angry, but it fell flat by the way he pushed Nori into the kitchen and to a chair. This was default for Dori – if he went without seeing someone for more than a few hours, Dori unconsciously thought they were hungry and tried to feed them. It was the way he was, and Nori and Ori loved him for it. It was also _impossible_ to refuse him, so Nori went with it.

He leaned back and gave Dori his best shit-eating grin (which he’d perfected over the years.) “I am a stripper.” He cooed. Dori snorted and shoved a plate with eggs, pancakes, and bacon in front of him, but paused and pulled it back as Nori reached for it.

“Well, darling I’d _hate_ to ruin your figure if you are.” Dori said, sounding concerned. He was _evil_. Nori made grabby hands until he relented and gave the plate to him.

“I was kidding! I had a glitter fight with Bofur at Bilbo’s.” He said in between bites. Dori gave a noncommittal hum, asking about how they were doing. Nori told him about the previous day, giving a play-by-play of the scene in the hallway and deterring Lobelia. His older brother was the best listener, snorting and laughing at all the right places. (And if Nori fibbed by saying it was _Bilbo_ who’d said, “ _Well hopefully you’ll find someone to love so you can preoccupy your time with them instead_ ,” then that was his little secret.)

There must be a method of genius to Dori’s policy about feeding people, because it turned out Nori was much hungrier than he thought and finished his plate very quickly. He put his plate in the sink and let out a yawn, stretching his arms over his head. “Well, I’m goin’ to bed. Good night.” He slinked off upstairs, relishing in the triumph of a Lobelia deterred, and being much better at throwing glitter than Bofur (and also being a better cuddler). So he didn’t answer back when Dori called out to him, “It’s 9 in the morning!”

**Author's Note:**

> I take comments, suggestions, and philosophies about the universe both here and on my tumblr: jmiracles


End file.
